So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
