4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I am morally bankrupt
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize