she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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