he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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