I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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