i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
zippers are such a cool invention
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
