we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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