It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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