Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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