I hate your face
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
