saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
