I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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