Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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