So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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