He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
