is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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