I just pynch a tree in the face
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize