Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
