plz talk dirty to me
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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