he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
