i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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