it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
