She announced her abortion via fbk
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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