I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize