I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
