If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
