well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
