Non-Jews are for practice
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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