Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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