All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
