Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
