i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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