Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I am never drinking with the goths again.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
