so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
