Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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