If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
