I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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