you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize