I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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