i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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