I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
