idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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