This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
