think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
