so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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