What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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