last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize