i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize