did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize