Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
