Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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