you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
