yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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