he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
