Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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