Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
