OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
love makes seman taste better
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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