this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I will be naked everywhere
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
ok first of all what the fuck
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
