No stitches, just platelets and will power
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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