we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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