ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Say something about gay babies.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
