You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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