Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize
