Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
