i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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